SHALOM FRIENDS, FAMILY, ASSOCIATES AND ADMIRES. WELCOME BACK TO PARADISICALCHIMES50 AND THE EPILOGUE OF THE QUALITY OF KOSHER SEX.
In the beginning how do you rate your mate? On that first date is he/she nice to the waitress even if their mannerism is not conducive to deserving same? Is it shown afterwards when they leave that tip, (that is less than 15%)? Are you willing to date Jew or gentile realizing that you may one day need to acculturate into the norms of another society? These are questions that only you can answer. It provides you the opportunity to really identify with yourself when you learn from your past and current relationships. What do you want and are you really ready to settle, change or accept his/her differences? I once had an open adult session and a young lady said, “I had a date with a guy name Ralph and it was a disaster.” She said, “I should have known anyone with a name like Ralph would be a waste of my time.” WOW! How do you respond to someone like that? Are we so myopic that we can’t get pass a name. I’m quite sure his mother thought it was masculine and maybe even sophisticated. If we investigate we will find that a whole world of tradition and culture exist in a name. According to Rabbinic sources, (Mekhilta, Vayikra rabba, etc.), God liberated the Jewish people from Egyptian slavery because they did not change their original Hebrew names. According to biblical lore, a parent assigns names to represent the personality of the bearer. It is chosen due to the path and aspiration that one’s parent foresee in their child’s future. Do we rate lust as much as a name? If you had great sex with a name, did you care what he/she was called when you called out the deity’s and your mother’s name, (just for sensual pleasure and sexual release)? Boteach say’s we tend to find someone to copulate with because it represents a basic necessity.
Realize that love has the power to transform the ordinary to the extraordinary and into the composition of something magical. Are you able to differentiate between love, lust and what it means to be committed?
If you have gone through your test and passed, how can you continue to climb the mountain? I mentioned that to avoid our hetza hara, (evil inclination), we love and we pray. You may ask, well Miss Theresa Bass, (my Hebrew name is Kalanit), I am not a prayerful person so what can I do? Use the oldest form of self guidance that we are all born with, (commonsense). The first perek of Pirkei Avos, (Ethics of the father), established the basic principles for success in life. How we apply the principles is developed within the second chapter. I purport that we can be guided by this knowledge within our relationships as well. If you don’t believe in prayer believe in yourself and know that every one derech, (path), to success is tailored made. Mishna I…….Rebbi says: “What is the right path that a person should choose?” One must know himself, (your character), to develop your own personal style in order to reach your goals. That is with studying the Torah or climbing the mountain, (in an attempt to rotate great sex into kosher sex). Rule number ONE. The path should be fitting to the individual and respectable in the view of people. Is your encounters or relationship viewed to you, your family and your Jewish community as salacious, (risqué)? Do you even care? If so, then within Rule Number ONE….you’ll respect yourself and your partner. If you care enough to respect, (this simple common courtesy), is the first sign of love. Boteach says, love not only gives us wings it gives us vision. Rule Number TWO. Be careful with easy mitzvos as if they were difficult ones, for you do not know the amount of reward for each mitzvah. Rule Number THREE. Calculate the loss incurred by a mitzvah and compare that with the reward one merits through it. Calculate the reward of a sin and compare that with the loss one incurs through it. If you are a prayerful person and believe in God then Rule Number FOUR is effortless to achieve. Consider three things and you will not come to sin: Know what is above you. A) The eyes sees all of a person’s thoughts. B) The ear hears all of his words. C) And all your deeds are recorded in the book. AS WE ARE ALL JUDGED INDIVIDUALLY.
So, know your temperament. What are you really made of? What about your partner/spouse? A Hebrew pun, (cited in the Talmud), suggest that a person’s character is revealed through three characteristics. His cup, his purse and his anger.
Cup – does one drink in moderation or drink to get drunk? What type of person do you become while intoxicated? When LOT became inconceivable drunk he impregnates his two daughters.
His pocket – Are you parsimonious or generous? Do you worship God or gold?
His anger – Are you easily provoked? When provoked do you apply emotional intelligence? Or do you hurt the person with words? If so do you acknowledge your error and apologize? When you express your anger is it done favorable or unfavorable?
Be-Koso, Be-Keeso, Be-Ka’aso…cup, pocket, anger are the three revealers of character. How do you rate yourself AND your mate?
According to Boteach the key is physical attraction consistency and self sacrifice. How do we measure physical attraction? Is beauty only “skin deep”? Joseph Brodsky says: For aesthetics is the mother of ethics. If we choose our leaders on the basis of their reading experience and not their political programs, there would be much less grief on earth. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche says: Nothing is beautiful, only man; on this piece of naiveté rests all aesthetics, it is the first truth of aesthetics. Let us immediately add its second; nothing is ugly but degenerate man – the domain of aesthetic judgment is therewith define. As you juxtapose the two I leave you with the words of Aristotle: Beauty depends on size as well as symmetry. Therefore, in the words of Arthur Cayley…As for everything else, so for a mathematical theory; beauty can be perceived but not explained. Make sure your physical attraction is presentable in your eyes and heart ten years from now. That magnetic force field that demolished your defense mechanism when you first look into each other eyes.
WHEN CONFLICT ARISE CAN YOU ACCEPT OUR DIFFERENCES?
When conflict arise remember that we can learn about mending from how God reconciled with humanity after the flood. To prove our covenant God placed a rainbow in the clouds to remind us that our eternal relationship is strong enough to survive. (Genesis 9:15,16).
As we love and respect each other we can begin to celebrate the difference we have made in each other’s life. If there is no cause for celebration part as friends and move on. If you are married then talk to each other and express the new “wells” that deepen your love, (the different ways in which you can nourish and strengthen each other). Giving the glory to God. Barukh ha’mesame’ach rei’im ha’ahuvim, (Blessed is the one who creates and sustains the joy of your love).
If you are connected in life then realize that as Boteach verbally express; great sex is a performance while kosher sex is an event. (HENCE: GREAT SEX IS JUST AN INDECENT PROPOSAL). While kosher sex is an event where two souls integrate and both partners are replenished and renewed at every event as you look forward to being with each other again. Ladies trust in the power of God and your commonsense. Gentlemen if you need a second opinion, I’m quite sure Steve Harvey would agree. Is your relationship for keeps? Fathom the quality of kosher sex and realize your rainbow is a sign of peace, wholeness and permanence.
Barukh atah zokheir ha’brit – Blessed are you who remembers that relationships are for keeps.
Recently in the media Bill Cosby reputation was discolored for what seemed to be a sign of dementia….But to me Bill Cosby is a hero and a true humanitarian
Remember that harmful words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil; Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
A message from Bill Cosby….Bill Cosby and I chose TEMPLE UNIVERSITY; THEN I CHOSE GRATZ COLLEGE….A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.
DON’T GET CAUGHT IN THE FLOOD
SHARING THE LOVE WITH K-Ci & JoJo, THIS VERY MOMENT…..STEVIE WONDER……MY CHERIE AMOUR AND MANY MORE TOP ARTIST!
Executive Women Leaders – New Post Coming in January 2018 – Guest Staring Gabrielle Union
K.I.S.S. – KEEPING IT SWEET AND SIMPLE
AINT NO STOPPING SUNSHINE BY YOLI
MARY J BLIGE – STAR FOR LIFE
MISS THERESA BASS AKA KALANIT OWNER OF PARADISICAL CHIMES 50 ASK KALANIT